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Kim Selby



I’m assuming you have all heard that delightful song from the animated film Frozen – unless you NEVER listen to the radio – and perhaps, you, like me, have overheard it. But the tune is beautiful and Idina Menzel’s melodious voice is magical. As it has stuck with me for some time now, I have felt moved to write about Let It Go!  I’m not talking about my longing to write about and dissect the song, although I do want to share a verse with you. To me the following phrase is so significant in many, many ways and as such it has motivated me to ponder and think even further about the phrase LET IT GO!

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free.

STRESS and OVERWHELM - not so fun!

In the time in which we live, stress, fear, anxiety, overwhelm, procrastination… are key buzz words and we all use them. And dare I say it, we overuse them and on this I can speak from experience.  In fact, I read an article by someone, whose name I forgot, so forgive me, that we like to live in confusion. (Thanks to my friend and fellow KMCC Coach Nancy Pigno)  I would also say we LIKE to live in overwhelm. Our brain thinks it’s a safe place to be because we are used to it. We don’t think we like it, but why are we always in that state?

We may hate it at the time, but really it is so easy to fall back on and just declare, “I am so overwhelmed”. We think that others will either cajole us and say, there, there, or it’s ok. I know, from personal experience. And when we are in overwhelm we tend to just shut down and ignore, or procrastinate, or go on Facebook. Even my 22 year old daughter said it to me the other day.  When I was 22, I was having a great time, working in NYC, going to Broadway shows, (standing room only of course), dating, playing and really loving life. When did overwhelm take over? What have we done to make our children feel they are overwhelmed? The expectations we place on ourselves and everyone else is well…overwhelming.

I believe, simply stated, it comes down to Letting It Go!  There are some things you know you absolutely CAN let go of. Just as there are other things you absolutely can’t let go of. You don’t have to make your bed, but you do have to feed your family. You don’t have to spend hours on Facebook (anyone???), but you do have to answer work emails, write reports or the like.

There are so many ways, if we think outside of the box, to make life easier and more enjoyable by letting go and taking time to breathe and focus and slow down. One step at a time. One teeny tiny step. AND Let it GO!  Release your crazy brain, and let go of what isn’t important.


Last week I attended the annual conference for the company I am proud to work for  - J Hilburn – my part time, flexible, amazing job – really my own business, (selling men’s custom and luxury clothes). Our keynote speaker was Mel Robbins – a dynamic woman and magnificent public speaker (I want to be her when I grow up – probably next year). She suggested, when in overwhelm, do a mind dump. Just put everything that is on your mind on a piece of paper, several times a day. Just doing this will make more space in your brain for what is truly important. (That’s my take on it anyway). Not a new concept, but one worth repeating. In fact, Julia Cameron, in her book, The Artist’s Way, has a similar exercise called “morning papers”. For 20 minutes first thing in the morning, you just write. This is to get your creative juices flowing. A little different than a mind dump, but similar benefits. I also learned this technique from Jill Bandonsky, amazingly creative creator of the Kaizen Muse Creativity Coaching model (yup, I’m a certified coach!). I just love using the term creative, can you tell?  At any rate, making lists and checking them twice (like Santa?) is terrifically therapeutic. You know, crossing something off….love it!


Letting go is more than making lists or mind dumping or whatever you choose to call it. Letting go is simply releasing your mind, body and soul of things that are not of service to you. Things that the universe can handle FOR you. A great exercise can be found in Ask and it is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It’s the placemat exercise, and I recently had the opportunity to re-learn this at an eye opening workshop with Mary Welty-Dapkus (MIM Professional Intuitive and Life Coach, and really awesome human). 

On a paper placemat you draw a line down the middle. Title the left side, THINGS I WILL DO TODAY, on the right side, THINGS I WOULD LIKE THE UNIVERSE TO DO. The one on the left is your business, the one on the right is business the universe can take care of. Again paraphrasing and putting my own spin on it – the universe can take care of your wishes, hopes and desires. You can take care of your family, your job, your house, pursuing your creative dream etc. For instance, I want to be a motivational speaker and author and thus I am putting it out there for the universe to provide the means for me. I am also writing, and exploring and doing what I can to manifest this dream. BUT I know the universe is also out there working on my behalf. Sometimes I LET GO of the thoughts swirling in my head and my ego trying to tell me I’m not good enough. Sometimes, those thoughts take over. When they do, I LET THEM GO (and succeed about 90%of the time now, practice, practice, practice) and assign the universe the task of placing opportunities in front of me. It’s really cool, try it and believe it and you will see that it truly works.

I’m a HUGE believer in the Law of Attraction. Where your attention goes, your vibration flows and you WILL be able to manifest your desires. Of course your ego will pop up, but you CAN bypass it. (I know how, contact me……)

So, I’m just sayin’ Let it Go – if it is a thought, or a thing, or a chore, that can be put off, assigned to someone else, or thought of in a different way (try saying I GET  TO…..) then LET IT GO.  The universe is ready and waiting to catch you, provide for you and give you peace. You have to let it, you have to want it and you have to LET GO of negativity and the words I CAN’T.

Try it and See….

And while you are at it…..EXPRESS YOURSELF AND SHINE!

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