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Kim Selby

Who am I? And why don’t I have my **** together yet?

Don’t we all just struggle with this a little bit every day?  Well maybe not all of us, but what do I know?  I’m not personal friends with my idols, like Oprah, Katie Couric, Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren….you kind of see who my idols are don’t you?  Yes, they are all women over 50. Ok, I think they are all over 60 now too, and as they are my age, that makes total and complete sense right?  But you know what? They were women I looked up to in my 30’s and 40’s and 50’s. So the list doesn’t really change much. They seem to have it all together, but much as I’d like to sit down and have a glass of wine or tea with them, probably not going to happen. I mean I know that thoughts are things and all and if I really worked at it, a visit with one of them may happen. But for now, I’ll just sit at my computer and type away about my own reflections on having it all together and my pondering on Who Am I? So I always wonder, do they have their **** together? They look so cool and authentic on instagram…that’s real right? (Oh and I just can’t write those 4 letter words – I’m not a millennial!) But hey, back to subject. I don’t think anyone knows who they are or have it together every day. Maybe some days, but surely not regularly.

Here’s a secret – I don’t – have it all together that is. I mean, sure I can dress the part, and act all cheery and vivacious when I see you. And at that moment, I probably am, I don’t tend to fake it too much – ok on occasion. Now back to today’s musings. Who am I – today in this very moment? It varies day to day and minute to minute. And you all know that don’t you?  I mean, we are in Mom mode sometimes, and wife mode other times and work mode and fitness mode, and chef mode etc. etc. I mean we are these things all of the time, but they aren’t always on display are they?  Right at this moment, I am a writer. Well maybe not a published one (well my newsletters ARE published weekly), but you know what I mean. I’m not exactly on the NYT Bestseller list, yet. Ok, so I guess you have to actually write a book to be a part of that list…so maybe one day, when the Who am I today takes time to put lots and lots of words on the page. Lots and lots of words that actually mean something that people will want to read. I have a pretty interesting backstory, not as intriguing as some, but maybe enjoyable or eye opening to others.  But I digress as I often do. English major be damned!  I love writing from the heart, stream of consciousness. Sometimes I even imagine people enjoy what I write. And sometimes I’m sure they don’t. But so what?

So who I am today is a woman with occasional back pain, colitis, arthritis and one who absolutely loves to laugh. Laughter helps my “itis’s” feel better. Heals all that nasty inflammation. But you know what, that’s another post about health…for another time, and boy do I have a lot to say on healing.

Who are YOU today? (something to ponder since I know you have endless time on your hands!) Taking a minute to journal, or just write about how you feel today, who you are today, brings awareness to what’s actually going on with you. That’s a good thing.

I like you whomever you are today!

Shine on


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